Aviation: Insanity, Traction, and the Smithsonian’s Udvar-Hazy Center

It certainly didn't start here...

Fascination with FLIGHT seems to just be one of those things that is hardwired into everyone’s brain.  There’s hardly a soul around anymore that can remember a time during which flight wasn’t a major component of the day-to-day.  Frankly, I can’t imagine it, full stop.  And, while I’m not the biggest fan of engaging in it… even with a Martini under by belt and an airline seat under my arse…  it really is the only way to… well… fly. 

Of course, it wasn’t always as easy as getting online to buy an airline ticket instantly, sending a package to the far reaches of the earth in a day, or hand-deliver a ‘smart’ bomb from Missouri to Iraq over night via a phone call.  In fact, it wasn’t all so long ago that such ideas would have been relegated to a Jules Verne rant. 

Instigator

But, it all had to start somewhere.  While no one was around to record it, you just know some stone-chipping wingnut with a pronounced brow got to wondering about the idea via witnessing whatever flavour of reptile with big teeth was flying around in his reality just then.  And, it goes without saying that he also had to give it a try in order to decide it was a bad idea.  I suppose that exercise included the prehistoric equivalent of a garage rooftop and a cape.  And, I rather doubt that the whole enterprise ended up favorably… unless, that is, he had mattresses and / or foresight.  And, let’s face it…  mattresses were a year or two down the road, and the brainpan of that period wasn’t renown for splitting atoms.  But, who knows?  That being said, if I were a betting man, I’d bet he didn’t try it again. 

Learning, the hard way

It’s all akin to the ‘shit happens’ school of thought when it comes to learning.  Not so unlike that first guy who was pushing his newly invented wheel up a hill only to have it reverse direction and crush his noggin like a watermelon a la Dave Letterman.  And Voilà… the notion of brakes was born. 

And while these two may appear to simply be the poster children for The Darwinian Principle in motion… someone had to step up to the plate to try things out before they became ‘obvious’ to everyone else, right?  So well done them!  Let’s face it, the notion of gravity and the whole 32.2 ft per second per second thing was still a LONG way off. 

And so, it didn’t take long for folks to figure out that if flight was gong to be accomplished by humans…  there was some description of ‘help’ that necessarily must be involved.  Hence, Icarus and his waxy wings (good idea there), crazy bird suits, dodgy looking gliders, and… oh… that next-order wingnut with a cape and a garage rooftop once they were properly invented. But, to state the obvious, there was little traction associated with early enterprises in this area that predated the proper enabling ‘smarts’ and / or technology required to get the job done.  

Leonardo's bit

Leonardo has been widely acknowledged as being the first person with his head screwed-on properly to begin monkeying around with the idea of flying machines.  But, as previously suggested, the idea really did come-up long before as evidenced by cave paintings, diagrams, blue prints, and whatnot.  But to his credit, Leonardo took a somewhat more practical and educated stab at the whole equation. 

Fast forward…

Don't blink or you'll miss it

The actual dawn of flight – i.e. attempts that didn’t end up in some manner of a ‘face-planter,’ – is accepted by most to have begun with the Wright Brother’s monumentally fragile first successful time spent aloft in Ohio in the early 20^th century (And no, I don’t want to get into that debate, so drop it).  The rest, as they say, is history.  The whole concept turned into a flash fire in very short order, with America boasting all description of historical firsts… from Charles Lindbergh, to breaking the sound barrier, to blowing everyone’s mind with monsters like the SR 71 Blackbird and the B-2 Stealth Bomber, to venturing into space… and who knows what else?! 

Now, I could ‘wax poetic’ about this all day long… however 1) I don’t know what waxing is, 2) I’m full-tilt crap at writing poetry, and 3) you wouldn’t read it anyway.  The fact is, if you’re still with me at all, it surely must be courtesy of the pictures. 

B-2 with Hornets - Really bad news

So, do us all a favor and cut to the chase yourself!  In the Arlington / DC area we have loads of fun and informative places to visit that are focused on the wonder of flight and the aviation phenomenon that are aimed at absolutely knocking your sox off!  SERIOUSY!  But, the one I’m thinking of just now is the Smithsonian National Air and Space Museum’s Steven F. Udvar-Hazy Center.

And, it's just around the corner...

The Boeing Hangar

Located a very short westward drive from both Arlington and DC, just near Dulles International Airport, the Udvar-Hazy Center is amazing, chock-full of actual air and space craft (not a garage or cape in sight), and has an admission price of: FREE!   

And I’m not talking about a squirrely little museum here.  This place is ginormous and maintains a collection of big-time historic players in the aviation story… the most recent of which, and one that has generated loads of national attention, is the workhorse of the Space Shuttle fleet, DISCOVERY.  Which, by the way, is nose to nose with her prototype sister Enterprise at The Center as I type. 

So, what else is there?  Glad you asked…

Discovery, on her final harumph

Top line, approx 160 large space and missile vehicles and as many as 500 smaller space history bits and pieces.  Included in this VAST array are:

• The space shuttle Discovery, of course…  (Enterprise is headed to NYC where she’ll be mixing it up with the beautiful people, as she should cos she's pretty!)
• Mercury era spacecraft
• Gemini era spacecraft 
• Apollo era spacecraft
• The Spacelab Laboratory Module
• NASA’s Mobile Quarantine Facility aimed at keeping “ALIEN” out of our hair
• A full-tilt Mercury-Redstone missile
• A Mariner 10 spacecraft
• A Close Encounters of the Third Kind Mothership model, cos all that really happened… apparently…

And much more…

The Boeing Hangar at The Center maintains a permanent exhibit that includes more than 160 historic, military, commercial, business, sports, and helicopter-type aircraft.

 Highlights include:

Ah... the SR-71

• A PT-13 Stearman biplane a la WWII
• The Virgin Atlantic Global Flyer, the 1st non-stop solo airplane flown around the world without refueling
• An SR-71 Blackbird (my personal favourite), the world's fastest flying aircraft and wicked cool!
• An Air France Concorde    
• THE Enola Gay, the B-29 that dropped the first atomic bomb during WWII
• A Grumman Goose, the first twin-engine monoplane to enter commercial airline service
• A Boeing 307 Stratoliner
• A Lockheed L-1049 Super Constellation
• Biplanes, gliders, and aerobatic planes    
• Helicopters and helicopter-like thingies

And, again, so much more...

So, you’ve read the book… now see the movie.  It really is a terrific day-out for all even remotely interested in aviation, as well as those that don’t know they’re interested in it yet!  But, they will be…

Oh, and one more thing … be forewarned… there is a ‘walk’ involved.  The place is big, and there are no trams.  The Center is, of course, wheelchair accessible, but for the rest of us, we’re hoofing it!  So prepare your dogs accordingly!

Steven F. Udvar-Hazy Center

14390 Air and Space Museum Parkway

Chantilly, Virginia 20151

703-572-4118

Hours:

• Daily 10:00 am - 5:30 pm
• Extended Summer Hours (May 25 - September 3) 10:00 am - 6:30 pm
• Open every day except December 25. 
• Admission: Free

Parking:

• Yes, public parking is $15.  But there are public transportation options available too.  Check those out here: http://www.nasm.si.edu/visit/transportation/public.cfm
• Refunds are available if you are just dropping off.
• Free parking after 4:00 pm, but don’t be a wally, you won’t have time to do your visit justice if you go this route…

Security Screening:

• All visitors will be screened upon entry.  Certain items are prohibited.

 Useful Links:

The Steven F. Udvar-Hazy Center website:

http://www.nasm.si.edu/udvarhazy/

The National Air and Space Museum on the National Mall website:

http://www.nasm.si.edu/museum/flagship.cfm

The Metro interactive trip planner if you don’t believe the bits above:

http://www.wmata.com/rider_tools/tripplanner/tripplanner_form_solo.cfm

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© 2012 Death by Drowning

Arlington House: Comeuppance, Just Desserts & Poetic Justice

Three terms, one result.  That is, setting Karma off on a rampage.  For the sake of simplicity, however, let’s stick with Poetic Justice.  After all, ”Comeuppance” is effectively a mouthful of Scrabble tiles, and Just Desserts could be confused with a tres cool bakery in San Francisco.

So, Poetic Justice, it is…

Now, as you know, this notion can be manifested via a number of charming antidotes. 

The undesirable result of 
Right Hose, Wrong Tank

There’s the ol’ urban myth-ish story of a young lad endeavoring to steal gasoline from an RV via a siphoning exercise… only to accidentally stick his hose in the sewage holding tank rather than the petrol holding tank.   Needless to say... that tanked.  Whoops.

A more philosophical approach as uttered by Dante Alighieri might be...  And I shall paraphrase: “Fortune-tellers will necessarily end-up walking around with their heads on backwards (in hell), unable to see what is ahead, because that was what they had tried to do in life.”  Obscure, but I get it.

Then there’s the practical, reality bit that I’ve experienced.  That is, going to great lengths to procure a snow blower this past fall (whilst reflecting back on the tons of snow I shoveled from my 100-yard-long drive last year) only to have this winter more closely resemble a holiday in Barbados than Lake Tahoe during ski season.

Which finally brings us to a historic bent on the concept...  How about electing to go to war against the country you love, for some harebrained conviction (AKA The Confederacy*), only to have the same brothers you were ultimately responsible for killing buried in the backyard of your home. 

(*Yes, I know this is going to land me in hot water with a lot of folks.  So be it.)

Arlington House & Cemetery

Such is the story relating to Robert E. Lee and his ancestral home, Arlington House (AKA the Custis-Lee Mansion, AKA The Robert E. Lee Memorial) with his backyard, of course, being Arlington National Cemetery. 

Ouch… Take THAT, Mr. Lee!

If you’re still not clear on the concept, try: Poetic Justice—An ideal distribution of rewards and punishments in which virtue is ultimately rewarded or vice punished by an ironic twist of fate intimately related to the character's own conduct.  A mouthful, to be sure.

More simply put, we'll just call it: What goes around comes around.

And, true to the quote by Barry Hughart (Bridge of Birds: A Novel of an Ancient China That Never Was):

“...the problem with poetic justice is that it never knows when to stop.”

True enough.  And, coincidentally, that is the story with Arlington House as its backyard is still a popular place for fallen comrades-in-arms to meet to this day.

All that being said, the focus here isn’t on the backyard, but rather on the house, itself. 

The Lee Bedchamber

Built by George Washington Custis—grandson of Martha Washington—at the turn of the 19^th century, Arlington House is actually located in Arlington National Cemetery grounds, and was home of the Confederate General Robert E. Lee for the 30-years leading up to the Civil War. It was here, during the night of April 20, that Lee composed the letter resigning his commission from the U.S. Army to fight for his native Virginia.  He left on that mission two days later, never to return.

General Lee

Robert E. Lee, of course, is best known for commanding the main eastern force of the Confederacy during the Civil War, winning major battles against much superior Union forces at Bull Run, Fredericksburg, and Chancellorsville. He led two unsuccessful attempts to invade the North (turned back at Antietam in 1862 and Gettysburg in 1863), and then saw his army ground down by Union general Ulysses S. Grant in an attrition campaign through 1864 and part of 1865. His surrender at Appomattox on April 9, 1865 effectively ended the war.

Arlington House was abandoned by the Lees early during the Civil War and was later used as headquarters for the Union army. The estate was confiscated for nonpayment of taxes, and its approximately 200 acres (80 hectares) were set aside for a national cemetery in 1864. 

The house and grounds have served many purposes over the last two hundred years—including being a working plantation / estate, a home to 63 slaves, and later a community for emancipated slaves.

It is now preserved as a memorial to General Lee, who gained the respect of Americans in both the North and the South in due course.

Arlington House, Today

The mansion, itself, was built by slaves on the plantation of handmade brick and faced with cement which was scored and painted to look like marble and sandstone, One of the earliest Greek Revival structures in the country, and one of the earliest residences to use the “Colossal Orders,” (the huge columns that span the entire two stories of the house), Arlington House was inspired by Greek temple design.  The facade of the house including both wings is 140 feet. The massive portico is 60 feet across by 25 feet deep and features 8 massive Doric columns 23 feet tall and 5 feet in diameter.

Today, Arlington House is part of the National Park Service, and open to the public for tours.  Within the mansion, visitors will get a glimpse of the Lees' grand old Southern aristocratic furnishings and rooms, and can even peruse the estate's former slave quarters.  The mansion also houses a selection of artifacts and exhibits focused on Lee’s life. 

Arlington House, Yesterday

Despite the varied feelings that American’s have about the mansion’s background, it is a significant component of American history, and extremely interesting to those that can switch off any “us vs. them” mentality.  Definitely a worthwhile excursion, only minutes from DC itself, and easily accessible by car or Metro.  And, the estate enjoys a staggering view of DC—from the Potomac, across Memorial Bridge, past the Lincoln Memorial and Washington Monument, and straight up The Mall to The Capital beyond. 

Touring the mansion will take approximately an hour, and the NPS does offer guided tours—but check ahead for availability and timing. 

Arlington House is open to visitors from 9:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. Visits are first-come, first-served. Be advised, however, that there may be delays on busier days.  And, while you're there, why not wander into the backyard?  There are many historically significant, if not solemn sites to experience there as well—not the least of which are The Tomb of the Unknowns, JFK and Jacqueline Kennedy burial plots / memorial, the Robert F Kennedy burial plot / memorial, and the Challenger disaster memorial, to name just a few.  

The View from The Mansion

Arlington House 
(Custis-Lee Mansion)

Arlington National Cemetery

Arlington, VA 22211

703.235.1530

Hours: 9:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. every day except Christmas and New Year’s Day.

Admission: Free

Parking: Paid parking is accessible from Memorial Drive in Arlington, VA. The cost is $1.75 / hour for the first three hours, and $2.00 / hour thereafter.

Metro: Blue Line to Arlington Cemetery.  Then, it’s up the hill!

In sum… if you've not been, do go!  As the Civil War Sesquentenial is happening all around us, it’s only appropriate.  

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© 2012 Death by Drowning  

Sydney to Hobart: Tasmanian Devil Country

Celluloid-based Devil

And on the subject of vicious little bastards, you’ve got your three basic Tasmanian Devil flavours…

The first lives on celluloid in the Warner Bros. Loony Tunes vault.  Also referred to as ‘Taz,’ this whippersnapper is known as a dim-witted carnivore with a notoriously short temper and meager tolerance for nonsense. He’ll also eat anything and everything in sight courtesy of an appetite demonstrating little discretion. But, he is best recognized for his propensity for going berserk and spinning himself into a small tornado-ish flip-out, willingness to bite into / through just about anything, and a vocabulary, or lack thereof, primarily consisting of grunts, growls and rasps.

Island-based nasty bugger

Our second specimen is a resident of the Australian island state of Tasmania, and more akin to a cute little bear than is Taz.  Or so it would seem.  This little guy is actually characterized by his stocky and muscular build, black fur, stanky odour, startlingly loud and disturbing screech, keen sense of smell, and ferocity when dining. The Tasmanian Devil's large head and neck enables it to crank out the strongest bite, relative to size, of any living mammal.  And -- just to keep things interesting -- he hunts, will mow down carrion, or even devour your entire rubbish bin if you live in close proximity.

A real darling, to be sure.

Sea-based trouble

Contestant number 3 is, well, a combination of the first two.  It is well known for a notoriously short temper with zero tolerance for bullshit.  Maintains nasty, crushing jaws enabling it to eat just about anything and everything without thinking twice -- from humans, to full-tilt sailing yachts, to the most insane hopes and dreams.  It is also well known for whipping itself into a tornadic frenzy whilst uttering grunts, groans, and growls. 

The real difference between the first two players vs. the last is that our third flavour lurks beneath the waves, has no discernible form, is very very unpredictable, and lives in the space between Australia's Sydney Harbour and Tasmanian Hobart.  Exactly the route of the mother of all unhinged competitive sailing ideas, the annual Sydney to Hobart Yacht Race.

Each year at 1 p.m. on Boxing Day (26 Dec. to you and I) since 1945 the Sydney to Hobart Yacht Race -- or Bluewater Classic – kicks into gear.  Beginning in Sydney and finishing in the Tasmanian island city of Hobart in southeast Oz, the race covers approximately 630 nautical miles.  And I’m here to tell you, this is not a lazy day-sail for the faint-of-heart with a picnic lunch -- it is aimed at serious sailing lunatics, billionaire psychopaths on a rampage, and anyone else up for a king-hell ass-thumping slap-down.

Wild Oats, on the case

The race is run by a couple of Royal Yacht Clubs at either end of the course, and is widely considered to be one of the most difficult yacht races in the world. It is also one of the top three offshore races and attracts maxi yachts from virtually everywhere. The current race record was set in 2005 by Wild Oats XI – an Aussie boat that has dominated the race over the last decade -- which crossed the line in a time of 1 day, 18 hours, 40 minutes and 10 seconds.  But, for most, the transit will take from between 2 and 7 days… if they make it at all!

Bass Strait, and the waters of the Pacific Ocean immediately to its east, are renowned for their nasty conditions. Even though the race is held in the Australian summer, "southerly buster" storms can make the race very windy, cold, bumpy, challenging, and downright miserable for sailing crews. Hence, it’s not uncommon for a considerable number of yachts to retire into the last sheltered harbour before reaching the Bass Strait crossing, on the New South Wales coast.  Sort of like playing chicken, you just go for it until someone blinks.

Post storm damage

Unfortunately, every sport has its worst-case scenario when the right combination of wrong circumstances converge to create “a problem.” For mountain climbers it was Mt. Everest in 1996. Among ocean racing debacles was the 2006 Sydney-Hobart.

On December 27, 2006, just one day into the race, ugly storms and vicious gales -- to the tune of hurricane-force winds and 30 to 40-foot seas -- raked the fleet comprised of well over 100 vessels. After a 10-hour rager, it was all over.  Only 44 boats finally made it to Hobart.  Five boats sank, 66 boats retired from the race, six sailors died, and 55 sailors had to be rescued -- many clinging to tattered life rafts or dismasted sailboats -- by the largest sea rescue operation in Australian history.

Ellison at the helm of Sayonara

The first technological mind-bender to knife successfully across the line at Hobart on December 29 was the US maxi yacht Sayonara, owned by Oracle CEO, avid sailor, and general crazy-man billionaire Larry Ellison.

And so, onward to this year's race…  Who knows?

As mentioned, the event begins at 1 p.m. 26 December (9 p.m. EST Christmas Day) and will surely be covered periodically on the plethora of cable channels we all have.  For the official dope, you can tune in to race-sponsor, Rolex’s web site at:

http://rolexsydneyhobart.com/default.asp. 

Of course, I’ll be seriously plugged-in to the whole thing and will undoubtedly be back with a re-cap.  Watch this space.

Ripping it out, in no uncertain terms

One way or another, check it out.  At the very least you’ll have to watch out of the same morbid curiosity that used to drive everyone to gawk at NASA launches… that is, in case the shit goes down.  In any event, this year’s Sydney-Hobart is sure to be some description of a wild ride.

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© 2011 Death by Drowning