Death by Drowning: Aviation: Insanity, Traction, and the Smithsonian’s Udvar-Hazy Center

It certainly didn't start here...

Fascination with FLIGHT seems to just be one of those things that is hardwired into everyone’s brain. There’s hardly a soul around anymore that can remember a time during which flight wasn’t a major component of the day-to-day. Frankly, I can’t imagine it, full stop. And, while I’m not the biggest fan of engaging in it… even with a Martini under by belt and an airline seat under my arse… it really is the only way to… well… fly.

Of course, it wasn’t always as easy as getting online to buy an airline ticket instantly, sending a package to the far reaches of the earth in a day, or hand-deliver a ‘smart’ bomb from Missouri to Iraq over night via a phone call. In fact, it wasn’t all so long ago that such ideas would have been relegated to a Jules Verne rant.

Instigator

But, it all had to start somewhere. While no one was around to record it, you just know some stone-chipping wingnut with a pronounced brow got to wondering about the idea via witnessing whatever flavour of reptile with big teeth was flying around in his reality just then. And, it goes without saying that he also had to give it a try in order to decide it was a bad idea. I suppose that exercise included the prehistoric equivalent of a garage rooftop and a cape. And, I rather doubt that the whole enterprise ended up favorably… unless, that is, he had mattresses and / or foresight. And, let’s face it… mattresses were a year or two down the road, and the brainpan of that period wasn’t renown for splitting atoms. But, who knows? That being said, if I were a betting man, I’d bet he didn’t try it again.

Learning, the hard way

It’s all akin to the ‘shit happens’ school of thought when it comes to learning. Not so unlike that first guy who was pushing his newly invented wheel up a hill only to have it reverse direction and crush his noggin like a watermelon a la Dave Letterman. And Voilà… the notion of brakes was born.

And while these two may appear to simply be the poster children for The Darwinian Principle in motion… someone had to step up to the plate to try things out before they became ‘obvious’ to everyone else, right? So well done them! Let’s face it, the notion of gravity and the whole 32.2 ft per second per second thing was still a LONG way off.

And so, it didn’t take long for folks to figure out that if flight was gong to be accomplished by humans… there was some description of ‘help’ that necessarily must be involved. Hence, Icarus and his waxy wings (good idea there), crazy bird suits, dodgy looking gliders, and… oh… that next-order wingnut with a cape and a garage rooftop once they were properly invented. But, to state the obvious, there was little traction associated with early enterprises in this area that predated the proper enabling ‘smarts’ and / or technology required to get the job done.

Leonardo's bit

Leonardo has been widely acknowledged as being the first person with his head screwed-on properly to begin monkeying around with the idea of flying machines. But, as previously suggested, the idea really did come-up long before as evidenced by cave paintings, diagrams, blue prints, and whatnot. But to his credit, Leonardo took a somewhat more practical and educated stab at the whole equation.

Fast forward…

Don't blink or you'll miss it

The actual dawn of flight – i.e. attempts that didn’t end up in some manner of a ‘face-planter,’ – is accepted by most to have begun with the Wright Brother’s monumentally fragile first successful time spent aloft in Ohio in the early 20^th century (And no, I don’t want to get into that debate, so drop it). The rest, as they say, is history. The whole concept turned into a flash fire in very short order, with America boasting all description of historical firsts… from Charles Lindbergh, to breaking the sound barrier, to blowing everyone’s mind with monsters like the SR 71 Blackbird and the B-2 Stealth Bomber, to venturing into space… and who knows what else?!

Now, I could ‘wax poetic’ about this all day long… however 1) I don’t know what waxing is, 2) I’m full-tilt crap at writing poetry, and 3) you wouldn’t read it anyway. The fact is, if you’re still with me at all, it surely must be courtesy of the pictures.

B-2 with Hornets - Really bad news

So, do us all a favor and cut to the chase yourself! In the Arlington / DC area we have loads of fun and informative places to visit that are focused on the wonder of flight and the aviation phenomenon that are aimed at absolutely knocking your sox off! SERIOUSY! But, the one I’m thinking of just now is the Smithsonian National Air and Space Museum’s Steven F. Udvar-Hazy Center.

And, it's just around the corner...

The Boeing Hangar

Located a very short westward drive from both Arlington and DC, just near Dulles International Airport, the Udvar-Hazy Center is amazing, chock-full of actual air and space craft (not a garage or cape in sight), and has an admission price of: FREE!

And I’m not talking about a squirrely little museum here. This place is ginormous and maintains a collection of big-time historic players in the aviation story… the most recent of which, and one that has generated loads of national attention, is the workhorse of the Space Shuttle fleet, DISCOVERY. Which, by the way, is nose to nose with her prototype sister Enterprise at The Center as I type.

So, what else is there? Glad you asked…

Discovery, on her final harumph

Top line, approx 160 large space and missile vehicles and as many as 500 smaller space history bits and pieces. Included in this VAST array are:

The space shuttle Discovery, of course… (Enterprise is headed to NYC where she’ll be mixing it up with the beautiful people, as she should cos she's pretty!)
Mercury era spacecraft
Gemini era spacecraft
Apollo era spacecraft
The Spacelab Laboratory Module
NASA’s Mobile Quarantine Facility aimed at keeping “ALIEN” out of our hair
A full-tilt Mercury-Redstone missile
A Mariner 10 spacecraft
A Close Encounters of the Third Kind Mothership model, cos all that really happened… apparently…

And much more…

The Boeing Hangar at The Center maintains a permanent exhibit that includes more than 160 historic, military, commercial, business, sports, and helicopter-type aircraft.

Highlights include:

Ah... the SR-71

A PT-13 Stearman biplane a la WWII
The Virgin Atlantic Global Flyer, the 1st non-stop solo airplane flown around the world without refueling
An SR-71 Blackbird (my personal favourite), the world's fastest flying aircraft and wicked cool!
An Air France Concorde
THE Enola Gay, the B-29 that dropped the first atomic bomb during WWII
A Grumman Goose, the first twin-engine monoplane to enter commercial airline service
A Boeing 307 Stratoliner
A Lockheed L-1049 Super Constellation
Biplanes, gliders, and aerobatic planes
Helicopters and helicopter-like thingies

And, again, so much more...

So, you’ve read the book… now see the movie. It really is a terrific day-out for all even remotely interested in aviation, as well as those that don’t know they’re interested in it yet! But, they will be…

Oh, and one more thing … be forewarned… there is a ‘walk’ involved. The place is big, and there are no trams. The Center is, of course, wheelchair accessible, but for the rest of us, we’re hoofing it! So prepare your dogs accordingly!

Steven F. Udvar-Hazy Center

14390 Air and Space Museum Parkway

Chantilly, Virginia 20151

703-572-4118

Hours:

Daily 10:00 am - 5:30 pm
Extended Summer Hours (May 25 - September 3) 10:00 am - 6:30 pm
Open every day except December 25.
Admission: Free

Parking:

Yes, public parking is $15. But there are public transportation options available too. Check those out here: http://www.nasm.si.edu/visit/transportation/public.cfm
Refunds are available if you are just dropping off.
Free parking after 4:00 pm, but don’t be a wally, you won’t have time to do your visit justice if you go this route…

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