Death by Drowning: Jamestowne: History, Gibberish, and Information, Encapsulated

And so, if you’re reading this, you've made it through Thanksgiving somewhat intact with only one more family-infused car-crash left this calendar year. Translated, that means it's now safe to talk trash about Thanksgiving without fear of being struck by lightning. Don’t even consider messing with Christmas at this point.

Public Transportation

On the subject of Thanksgiving (and smooth segways), the pilgrims have traditionally been credited for the first Thanksgiving—and we all know how that story goes. That story, on the other hand, has probably evolved a bit since Thanksgiving was made a national excuse for a 4-day weekend by Lincoln during the Civil War. Not so unlike a game of “telephone.” That is, what goes in may not, necessarily, be what comes out.

The fact is, the Pilgrims / Plymouth thing, in this case, may be based on little more than their employment of better PR spin-doctors than the “other guys'.” Or so some believe.

To be clear, there are those that think the concept of Thanksgiving was probably being exercised for decades prior to the miraculous coincidence of the Pilgrims leaving from a place called Plymouth and then actually landing in a place called Plymouth… all without even traveling in a circle. What are the odds? A miracle really.

Included in this group of earlier turkey-eating “other guys” were the Spanish, and later the Brits—who managed to establish the first permanent British North American settlement here in Virginia at Jamestowne—and no, they didn’t have the good fortune of setting sail from a place called Jamestowne then landing in an identically named spot like some other folks who shall remain nameless. Further evidence that their spin-doctors were crap.

In any event, the Thanksgiving celebration by these ancients was probably of little resemblance to the contemporary version we know today… less based on the miracle of the Butterball hotline and more on the miracle of actually making it all the way across the Atlantic without a clue as to where they were going… and without getting devoured by a irked giant squid, a pissed-off wave, or a more pissed-off Spanish Man-O-War which, of course, was a big artillery-wielding war ship and not to be confused with a Portuguese Man ‘O War which is a big poison-wielding jellyfish.

This is best evidenced by the fact that for the first few years here in Virginia the Brits rarely whipped-up feasts featuring the cholesterol bomb we associate with Thanksgiving today… i.e. deep-fried turkey, grease-laden gravy, green bean casserole with those dehydrated onion rings on top, and heinous little marshmallows entombed in bowls of Jell-O. Instead, their posh dinner fiestas were far more likely to feature great big bowls of dirt as a main course… a local delicacy and just about all anyone could grow for the longest time. And so, not too terribly much to be thankful for in the food department.

Our Gal, Pocahontas

The only tradition that really stuck as result of all of this hoopla was the notion that Thanksgiving would forever be branded as a forum to spend the day arguing with in-laws. We have Capt Smith and Pocahontas to thank for that little ditty. Yes, while the rest of the gang were gnawing on bones, those two yahoos were honeymooning up river and arguing with Pocahontas’s extended family… but eating properly, none-the-less.

And a trade-off was born.

So, in the greater scheme of things, Jamestowne was actually significant in more ways than one. And despite the fact that those little piggies built their cottages out of sticks not bricks… and the big bad wolf did, in fact, come and blow the house down… there’s still something to see today at the site of the original Jamestowne.

(An aside… the namesake for both Jamestowne and the adjacent James River was King James I who had a mum (Mary Queen of Scots) that ended-up loosing her head over Elizabeth I, James’ predecessor. The Scottish version of all this is that King James I was actually James VI, and Queen Elizabeth never existed to begin with. Don’t ask… but it may not be an accident that they make so much whiskey in Scotland. Anyway, it’s all a soap opera in the making.)

In any event, located a 160-miles or so south of both Arlington and DC, heading to Jamestowne can be a haul depending on the weight of your foot. This is of no consequence, however, if you subscribe to the “having a sleepover at your target destination” school of thought. And, you can land yourself in lots more trouble that way!

Situated on a narrow swath of land between the York and James Rivers out near where they smack into both the Chesapeake Bay and the Atlantic, Jamestowne is comprised of two discrete bits -- Historic Jamestowne and Jamestowne Settlement.

Original Fort @ Jamestowne

Historic Jamestowne is a component of the National Parks Service and actually located on the site of the original colony. And, in the spirit of all that dirt farming that used to be going on, there’s plenty of digging happening today. In short, the site is largely an archaeological dig. And while most of the original town has succumbed to time and the elements, there is still much to see in the forms of “Old Towne” and “New Towne.” (Really knocked themselves out in the naming conventions department)

The “Old Towne" part of Historic Jamestowne refers to the triangular fort originally constructed by the British in 1607. Through a modern-day rediscovery project, over ninety percent of the 1607 fort has been identified. The rediscovery team has also excavated and studied structures, wells and burials – as well as collected over a million and a half artifacts from the site.

New Towne Church

In the 1620s, governors, farmers, and merchants began purchasing parcels of land and building in what is referred to as “New Towne,” the area east of the old 1607 fort. Taverns, warehouses, and wharves soon sprang up to serve those visiting Jamestowne to have their day in court, serve on the House of Burgesses, or “get their smoke on” whilst having their tobacco graded, weighed and taxed. (As a colonist, that would have really pissed me off! “Tea Party” ring any bells?) And, like “Old Towne,” they’re harvesting dirt in “New Towne” as well.

Bottom line, if you’re interested in history and archeology, Historic Jamestowne is for you.

Jamestowne Settlement, on the other hand, is a more paint-by-numbers experience. The Settlement delivers the story of the people who founded Jamestowne and of the Virginia Indians they encountered through film, gallery exhibits and living history. Explored in some depth are the cultures of the 1) local Powhatan Indians, 2) Europeans and 3) Africans who converged in 17^th century Virginia. To you and I, those three groups translate to: 1) Soon to be screwed-up, 2) already hopelessly screwed-up, and 3) in the process of being screwed-up… just in case you were grey on who was who.

Either the Fort Recreation or Kindling

Shuffling along out-of-doors will enable visitors of Jamestowne Settlement to board replicas of the three ships that sailed from England to Virginia in 1607, explore life-size re-creations of the colonists' fort and a Powhatan village, and tour a seasonal riverfront discovery area to learn about the three aforementioned groups of ill-fated inhabitants.

Feeling peckish? A visit to the Jamestowne Settlement Café may be in order… but that’s where that story ends. Being a soup-to-nuts historic site, you won’t find any private commercial enterprise at Jamestowne. Hence, unless you’re a snake, frog or alligator -- which I’m guessing you’re not -- you won’t be lodging or eating at Jamestowne proper. However, like the original colonists before you, you can retreat to a couple of follow-on settlements just a few miles away, Colonial Williamsburg and / or Newport News, where both lodging and dining options are abundant.

All in all, a visit to Jamestowne can be both educational and a good laugh… and perfect for the quick getaway from DC Metro. For more information, give these a whirl:

To get your bearings via Google or MapQuest…

1368 Colonial Parkway, Jamestowne, Virginia 23081

Colonial National Historic Park (US National Park Service)

http://www.nps.gov/colo/index.htm

Historic Jamestowne (US National Park Service)

http://www.nps.gov/jame/index.htm

Jamestowne Settlement

www.historyisfun.org/Jamestowne-settlement.htm

Colonial Williamsburg Official Site:

http://www.colonialwilliamsburg.com/

Visit Williamsburg

http://visitwilliamsburg.com/